Mister Faded Glory

Well, it happened again. The state in which Mister Faded Glory currently resides has taken yet another step down the, uh, evolutionary chain. (Nice comment on No. 3 here also.)

Nice thinking, folks. Look, just because I happen to be agnostic doesn’t mean I don’t recognize the problems with this supposedly-conflicting “Evolution vs. ID.” And I don’ t understand why several members of the Christian right feel the need to disparage evolution simply because it doesn’t fit within their narrow, literal view of the Bible. (Got news for you — If you’re reading the Bible assuming each and every passage depicts things exactly as they occurred, well, you’re gonna have a whole host of problems throughout life.)

And it doesn’t mean I don’t need or understand the rationale for believing in a supreme being. I understand the rationale for needing religion to explain life’s purpose. Fine. If it helps you in your life and spirit, more freaking power to you. What I don’t understand is one belief necessarily foreclosing another reality. Evolution and Creationism are not wholly conflicting ideas. They’re not even similar ideas! They’re on entirely different planes, in entirely different realms. Some of you reconcile them. Some of you choose not to. Some of you may not even care. But they’re not even competing! Consider:

I drop a pen, onto the floor.

The pen dropped because of gravity. Why did I drop the pen? What possible rationale could have been going through my head?

Answer: WHO FUCKING KNOWS?

It could have been anything. It could have been luck. Pure happenstance. An accident. Or a carefully-designed plan in order to see up Ms. Faded Glory’s skirt. Regardless, the pen dropped.

What we can understand is HOW the pen dropped, at 9.80 m/s>2, and smacked the floor. Try as we might, we cannot figure out exactly WHY I dropped the pen. That doesn’t mean trying to find out is necessarily a waste of time — it does mean that we should NOT assume that WHY I dropped the pen negates the empirical data of HOW the pen dropped.

Similarly, evolution is a HOW, intelligent design purports to be (or at least hints at) WHY. Empirical data, proven theories and corollaries are taught in biology class, however, beliefs are not taught in public schools.

And you wonder why most respected scientists choose not to set foot in this ‘debate.’ It’s because some Cubs-obsessed blogger can explain the whole thing using a damned pen metaphor. (Smacks head on keyboard)

Finally, I know it’s impossible to regulate the behavior of teachers. Some may be infusing public education with hints of creationism already. I’m sure that there are some who introduce “Chapter 3: Evolution” in science class with some sort of disclaimer, as in, evolution does not wholly predict the source or cosmic intention of our being. I know that. It doesn’t have to. That’s not the problem.

I have a problem because when I was in second grade, learning all about dinosaurs, I never stopped to attempt to reconcile the dinosaurs’ millenia of eras on Earth with the Adam and Eve parable in the Bible. I never had that question. I was neither advanced enough nor did I know about Xtianity, nor would I have cared. Dinosaurs were cool. I may have even learned quite a bit about science just because of a natural curiosity about dinosaurs.

But the problem is, now, soon, if I were to have a child in Kansas — he or she may be sitting at their desk learning about Triceratops and Stegosauri, and they may have to hear a teacher say:

“Now, before we get too far into the discussion of dinosaurs, remember, some schools of thought want to remind you dinosaurs may not have existed. God or some sort of god may have designed man and all other animals in a grand plan to put us all here today. Dinosaurs may, in fact, be a myth. But they may be real. None of us really know.”

Then that child has to question the existence of dinosaurs, and wonder where religion fits in the whole scheme, already, at age 8. Not the right idea. The kid may lose interest in science, learning, or he/she may just furrow their brow in a vain attempt to understand the two ‘competing’ notions — wasting valuable time and losing the perception that actual fossils and centuries of archaeology define evidence that proves dinosaurs as fact.

And that’s not right. Ignoring facts simply in order to shoehorn a notion of some people’s beliefs into a discussion undercuts the entire purpose of education. Thinking for yourself is one thing. Foreclosing the ability of children to think for themselves is quite another. Evidence and science are building blocks — not topics for question along the way.

Whatever your religious convictions may be, whether they force you to foreclose actual evidence or not, they should be your own. There are plenty of influences in life that shape people’s faith and spirituality. Schools, however, are only designed to give people the background to respond to influences, questions, and the like. The teaching of the ID belief undercuts that entire mission. And that — that — is what none of us want.

(and you thought I was pissed at Bill Simmons!?)